Fear is an Ally. If I am aware of what the fear is, the fear becomes my ally. Instead of acting on the fear, I recognize it, and that leads to a change in thinking. Cost of Anger. When we write down what the cost of anger is, we see that the price is too high. This is a first step toward change. Acknowledging our Fears. Acknowledging our fears is not a weakness; it is a strength because when people know who you are, they don’t expect what you can’t give, and may be able to help.